Pantera

Pantera are were a band from somewhere in Texas formed in 1981 by two obese brothers with bad facial hair, Vinnie Paul and Dimebag Darrell, the latter known back then as "Diamond Darrell" or simply "Darrell Lance Abbott". You can see why he changed the names, though why he switched to "Dimebag" we'll never know.

The band was instrumental in the development of the genre of "groove metal", also known as "post-thrash" to those among us with severe learning difficulties. As we all know, groove metal isn't truly metal because scene kids like it, so Pantera are not actually a metal band. Anyone who tells you that they are metal is obviously either lying, or a mallcore poseur who enjoys wigger slam and drinks rose wine instead of good old metal beer. (We recommend not mixing your beer with metal, by the way: you should never mix beer or metal with anything.)

The Hair Metal Years
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Cowboys from Hell and Selling Out
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Phil Fucks Up the Band
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Breakup, Dimebag's Assassination
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